


For This Moment

by renegadejaybird (vitious)



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-02-03
Packaged: 2017-10-28 15:22:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/309288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vitious/pseuds/renegadejaybird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Garrus finds something unexpected while on a mission.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Addition

Honestly he shouldn’t have felt as torn as he had staring into those brilliant green eyes. Nor should his hands have flexed at his sides in indecision as he stared at the oversized limbs, the tiny teeth, the beginnings of a crest… However there he was, staring at the infentile being despite the weight of Shepard’s hand on his shoulder, gently urging him to move on. After a moment of indecision however there was a slow, hesitant squeeze, a silent way of saying ‘It’s your choice, I’ll support you.’

After a long moment there was another explosion that rocked the vessel, causing the small being to make a panicked cry. Decision made, Garrus reached down and plucked up the tiny Krogan, brows lifting a little as it immediately bit down on the armor of his finger. He tried to pry it free even as he bolted after the others, pointedly ignoring the amused look from Sephard; it was as if the Man knew what the outcome would be all along. Finally they were safely back inside and Joker was pulling away quickly from the ship, heading for the nearest Mass Relay.

They all were winding down from the adrenaline, breathing evening out, when there was a tiny growl from the infant Krogan in his hands. All eyes slowly swiveled to the little green and yellow creature that was currently chewing on one of Garrus’ thick fingers, silence falling over them. Finally it was disrupted by their rather vocal pilot, his eyes never leaving the screens before him.

“Commander, what the hell was that?” Joker questioned, his hands flexing on the controls he was gripping. “And why does it sound very much not friendly?”

“It’s a… Um…” Tali began, sounding hesitant in the wake of Joker’s abrassiveness.

“Baby Krogan.” Shepard finished, looking amused.

“You have _got_ to be kidding me.”

“You’ll survive, Joker.”

“You don’t know that.”

While the two humans bantered Garrus finally managed to extract his finger from the small Krogan’s mouth, moving to hold the wriggling infant underneath its arms. It wriggled and made a small whining noise at him before stilling and blinking owlishly, seeming to calm a little. Slowly the Turian tilted his head, mandibles flicking as he stared at the being curiously. Many would ask why he had rescued the child of a race that was technically their enemy, but he wouldn’t honestly be able to give an answer other than ‘It felt right.’ Suddenly the stubby little arms shot out, reaching for his face and causing Garrus to rear back in surprise, eyes widening.

Shepard approached, apparently done having a conversation with his pilot, reaching out to gently touch the child’s back. He lifted a brow at Garrus, gently pushing it closer to the Turian’s face. It wiggled a little bit more as it got closer to its goal, making little grunting noises out of excitement or, at least, that’s what the Turian hoped it was. Finally the tiny hands made contact with Garrus’ face and the tiny Krogan went completely still, patting over skin and madibles, seemingly intrigued.

Garrus was rather entranced by how gentle and curious the small Krogan was being, so distracted by it, in fact, that he allowed Sephard to grip his shoulder and direct him off the bridge. Once they were safely within the confines of the conference room the Turian slowly looked from the small child to Shephard, trying not to look sheepish. However the Human simply with lifted his brows, smiling a little as he looked between the tiny Krogan and his… Adoptive father.

“Quite the responsibility you’ve decided to take on.” Shepard mumured, leaning againsts one of the nearby seats.

“I… Didn’t think about it at the time.”Garrus murmured, hesitantly tucking the infant against his chest; it seemed content to curl against the armor there and close its eyes.

Once again Shepard’s eyebrows lifted and his head tilted, peering at the tiny alien. “…Looks exhausted.”

“Indeed.”

When he heard slow, borderline silent footsteps, Garrus’ head lifted from staring at the small Krogan to stare at the approaching Spectre. Shepard was taking an unusual interest in the infant he held and it both perplexed and pleased the Turian. In all honesty he had expected retribution for being foolish and impulsive but, mostly, the human seemed to be intrigued and amused more than anything. Had Shepard been a Turian he was certain that he wouldn’t have been permitted to bring the child aboard in the first place.

“You’re thinking too hard there.” Shepard murmured, reaching out to gently run his fingers over Garrus’ mandibles, cupping his face.

There was no resistance when the Human drew the other male forward, their foreheads touching and the Turian’s eyes immediately slipping shut. Moments like these were rare, especially since they barely had time to eat or sleep while rushing to save the galaxy. Thus the fact that Shepard had taken the time to give them both privacy for this, to offer support and affection, made warmth roll through him, made him release the stress he hadn’t been aware that he had accumulated.

“…Thank you.” Garrus murmured, reaching out to gently squeeze the human’s shoulder.

“Shh. You don’t need to thank me.” Shepard retorted, giving a small shake of his head.

It was strange, what he and Shepard shared. It had never occurred to him to even consider a relationship outside of his own race but there was something about the other male, something that drew him in, sunk its claws into him and wouldn’t let go. When it came to duty the Human was stern but noble, brave yet cautious. He attempted to juggle as many lives as he could to make sure there were as few casualties as possible. Shepard had the weight of the entire galaxy on his shoulders and yet he stood tall, proud, and determined under all the pressure. Honestly the fact that the Spectre was even interested in him at all to be humbling beyond measure.

“You’re thinking to hard again.” Shepard murmured, running his thumb over one of the Turian’s cheekbones.

“I’m sorry.” Garrus cracked his eyes open, staring at the Human before him.

“The galaxy’s a pretty messed up right now, Garrus. Focus on this for a bit, just take it as it is.”

Slowly the Turian gave a slow nod, gently rubbing their foreheads together, wary of Shepard’s softer flesh, and closing his eyes. As per usual, Shepard was right. All they had was the present, the future had no guarantees for any of them, really. If they didn’t stop the Collectors who knew what would happen to all of them or if they would even live to find out the outcome of the confrontation. He had never been one to live in the moment, mainly due to Turian culture, but he thought he was learning well from the Human. All that they had was the present so he supposed that he couldn’t really be angry with himself for thinking impulsively, not when this was the reward.


	2. Deciding a Name

“Fluffy.”

  
“Shepard…”

  
“Sparky.”

  
“Shepard.”

  
“Deeno.”

  
“Shepard!”

 

Garrus had been growing more and more amused by the minute, shaking his head a little as the small Krogan growled in his lap.  If he had to listen to any more of Shepard’s terrible name suggestions he was going to laugh and he didn’t particularly want to jar the already agitated Krogan child.  Shepard lifted both of his brows in response, pretending to look innocent he supposed; he was still getting used to human expression to a degree.

  
“Shepard, he needs a Krogan name.” Garrus admonished softly running his fingers over the infant’s back.

  
“Maybe we should contact Wrex.” Shepard suggested, moving across his quarters to crouch next to Garrus, peering at the unnamed child.

  
“I… Perhaps… It’s just…”

  
“Wrex will want us to give him the child to raise on Tuchanka.”

  
Garrus fell silent, his eyes hooding a little as he stared down into the brilliant green eyes of the adopted infant.  He was oddly quiet, the Krogan,  simply peering about curiously, seemingly content so long as he remained in contact with the Turian.  Oddly it seemed alright with Shepard as well though it had a tendency to snap at or bite anyone else that came close to it.  Suddenly Shepards hand was on his upper arm, telling Garrus that he’d been quiet for too long after the suggestion.

“We don’t have to, Garrus.” Shepard murmured, staring up at the Turian before looking back down at the infant.  “How about Torrax?”

  
Garrus blinked down at Shepard then looked back to the child, smiling  little. “…I like that.”

  
“You know… Grunt doesn’t know about this yet.”

  
“I’m… Not certain he should.”

  
“I’m not sure we can really hide it.”

  
Garrus let out a slow sigh, closing his eyes as he mulled over the various outcomes of their current situation.   Honestly he hadn’t thought much when he had picked up the infant from the vessel they’d been aboard, hadn’t thought that it didn’t stand much more of a chance with them.  It was very possible that they could all die at any time, then what would the child have?  Wouldn’t he have a better future if he was on Tochanka?  What business did he have adopting any form of child, anyways?  Who knew when he would be killed while attempting to save the Universe from the Reapers and the Collectors.

  
“Garrus.”  Shepard’s hand on his thigh, his soft tone, caused him to open his eyes and stare at the Human.  “I can practically hear you beating yourself up over this.”

  
“It’s just…” the Turian looked down at Torrax, shaking his head. “I look at him and I don’t see a future, Shepard.”

  
“I do.  I’ll make it happen.”

  
“Shepard…”

  
“Family isn’t something I’ve ever really thought about.  But for what we have now, as imperfect as it seems, I would do anything to protect it.”

  
“Just be sure you come out alive.  I don’t think I can handle you dying again.”

  
“I wish I could promise that.”

  
“I know.”

  
Garrus moved to gently slide his fingers over Shepard’s stubble-covered scalp in a gesture that he hoped was soothing.  All of their talk seemed to be dark as of late and he didn’t want that, not when the Human carried the weight of the entire universe on his shoulders now.  If the end of the universe as they knew it was coming he wanted this time they had to be as good as it could be.  They weren’t machines, they had a psychological limit, all of them, so, in a way, they needed this time.

  
“After this is over…  We should take a break.  Disappear off the radar for a bit.” Garrus murmured, continuing to gently stroke the other Male’s head.  “Take some time off, I guess.”

  
“Don’t tell me you’re done hunting criminals.” Shepard teased, looking back up at the Turian and grinning.  “I’d miss the sight of you and your Sniper Rifle.”

  
“Now, I never said that I wouldn’t bring my rifle along.”

  
“Oh, well, then I’m sold.”

  
Chuckling softly Garrus looked at the Krogan still nestled in his lap, tilting his head slightly when he noticed that it was very much awake, just staring at them.  It took a few moments but Shepard finally noticed as well, one of his brows lifting before he looked up at his Turian lover, perplexed.  Torrax took the opportunity to let out a yawn, showing rows of tiny, sharp teeth.

  
“Wow.  Our son just got a lot creepier.  You know that right?” Shepard murmured, both his brows lifted as he stared at the tiny Krogan.

  
 _Our son…_ Garrus thought, smiling a little. “Well, I’m sure he gets it from you.”

  
“I… What?  Look, just because you were bestowed the name ‘Archangel’…”

  
“You like that nickname.”

  
“…Doesn’t mean that you’re any less creepy than I am.”

  
“Oh?”

  
“Don’t even get me started on ‘calibrating’.”


	3. First Words

Nobody questions the fact that Garrus doesn't have a cot in the main battery anymore, nor the fact that he and the Commander seem to disappear together for lengthy spans of time.  After a while 'not questioning' turned into working on giving them time together, to gentle ribbing and smiles whenever they exchange long, meaningful looks in the briefing room.   It really shouldn't surprise that them that nobody seems to bat an eye when Shepard comes into the briefing room with a tiny Krogran, sleeping, curled against his chest.  Then again he supposed that even a child can't really soften the lines of his face when he's all business, discussing the survival of the galaxy.

  
He doesn't notice that Grunt is looking at him oddly until he dismisses everyone and the Krogan lingers, his head tilted almost like a dog's in curiosity.   Shepard's brows lift in question before he suddenly goes very tense and very still; they'd never found a good way to break the news of the baby Krogan to Grunt; shit.  Swallowing thickly Shepard watches the Krogan warily, shifting his stance a little in preparation to make a break for it if necessary.  However the young Krogan makes no move  to come close, seeming just as wary of Torrax as the human is of him.  
"Is that... An infantile Krogan?" Grunt murmurs, leaning forward a little, eyes squinting a little, lips curling in a small grimace.

  
"...Yes." Shepard answered, his eyes narrowed and his tone stern; he was beginning to become rather protective of the new addition to his crew.

  
"Why... Do you have it?"

  
"It seems I have a habit of adopting Krogan."

  
Grunt looked up at him then and gave the Krogan version of a grin, showing that Shepard had impressed him or simply amused him, it was difficult to tell which.  After a moment the young Krogan reach out to run a finger over Torrax's head, causing the infant to stirr and growl a little in his adoptive father's arms.   Shepards brows lifted as he started down at the small alien,  waiting for it to try and chew a hole in his civvies.  However Torrax surprised him buy settling, his expression screw up in what looked like a pout if he had to guess.

  
"He will grow to be strong." Grunt murmurs, causing Shepard to look up, surprised.

  
"Oh yeah?"

  
"This ship is my Krantt, and my Krantt is the strongest in the Galaxy.  My Krantt is raising him.  There is no way for him to grow weak."

  
For a moment the human stares at Grunt, stunned, before he smiles. "...Thanks."

  
Their heads both turn as the door to the briefing room opens and Garrus steps in, datapad in hand.  He's obviously distracted, his fingers rapidly pressing keys on the pad in his hand as the Commander and Krogan exchange a look.  With a small shrug, Grunt heads for the door, making a point to brush past the Turian, causing him to stumble a little and look up, obviously disgruntled.  He opens his mouth to say something but the door slides shut as Grunt makes his way towards the elevator to head back down to the Engineering deck.

  
"Does he always have to be so... Unpleasant?" Garrus mutters, his gaze slowly shifting from the door to Shepard, his eyes widening a little in surprise. "...So... Grunt knows about... Torrax now."

  
"Yup." the human responds, looking more amused than anything.

  
"I... Ah... Assume that it didn't go... Horribly..."

  
"Quite the opposite actually.  He said that we are strong, so the child will grow up strong."

  
"I... Oh."

 

"Yeah."

  
They're silent for a long moment before Garrus speaks again, suddenly looking incredibly amused. "...Did Grunt just call us good parents?"

  
"In a backhanded way, I suppose."

They fall silent again but Shepard can tell that his lover is smiling as he sets the datapad on the briefing room's table, fingers trailing over the surface.  Garrus approached the human, lifting one hand to gently stroke Torrax's head, the other cradling the back of the other male's neck as he moved to press their foreheads together.  With a small smile the Commander closed his eyes and adjusted his hold on the baby Krogan in his arms, using his free arm to curl around the Turian's waist.  Some of the tension that was left over from the meeting and the encounter with Grunt bled out off him, leaving him feeling... Content, happy, _complete._

 _  
_

"Grrrrunt."

 

Shepard's and Garrus' eyes snap open to stare at one another before they slowly looked down at their adopted son.  Torrax was peering up at him with big, green eyes, looking pleased with himself, giving what translated into a smile, complete with needle-like teeth.  For a few moments they were silent before, finally, the Turian spoke up, his tone somewhere between amused and exasperated.

 

"Was his first word _really_ Grunt?  Grunt of all things?" Garrus muttered, running his fingers over his son's head fondly despite his tone.

 

"Definitely sounded like it." Shepard answered, struggling not to laugh.

 

"Grrrruuunt." Torrax piped in, eyes wide and his tiny hands patting the chestplate of his human father's chestplate.

 

"Yep.  It really was."

 




"Well, I suppose it's good he hasn't picked up anything from Joker yet."

 

" _Yet_ is the keyword there, Shepard."

 

"Sh... Shhh... Pard." Torrax chimed in, face scrunching a little.

 

"...Well now I just feel left out." Garrus grumbled, continuing to gently stroke their son's head.

 

"Careful what you wish for.  Once we get him talking he probably won't stop for a while.  Torrax.  Say Garrus.  Gaaarruuus."

 

"Ga... Roo roo..."

 

"Close enough."

 

"At least he made the effort." Shepard added, struggling to keep his face as neutral as possible.

 

"Your son is going to be a menace."

 

"Oh, he's my son now because he can't say 'Garrus?'"

 

"Precisely."

 

"Cute."


	4. Take a Number

Shepard feels that they're getting close to the end, to that final battle, that mission that's going to kill or change them all.  Everyone seems focused, quiet almost, as if they can sense what he can, feel the ending encroaching on all of them.  It makes him feel sad, knowing that the future he promised for everyone may not happen, that there is a possibility that none of them are coming out alive.  Thus, after hours of hesitation and attempts to think of a better plan, he heads down to the Main Battery to speak to Garrus...  Possibly to get punched in the face.  
  
As the doors hiss open and then close behind him, he finds it incredibly difficult to not simply step forward and hold the Turian, just for a few moments, to not be the commander, to just be himself, just a man, for a few seconds.  Instead he closes his eyes and quietly enables the lock on the door with a few practiced touches of his fingers.  For the moment they're completely alone, able to speak without interruption unless, well, Torrax woke up; it was nice having an AI onboard that seemed more than happy to help babysit.   
  
"Garrus." he begins, swallowing as he moves over to lean against the railing, the mental script he had prepared suddenly feeling wrong. "I... Well..."   
  
"Is something wrong?" the Turian is way to perceptive and, as much as he loves that about him, it's going to make this conversation even more difficult.   
  
"I...  Well, we're getting... Really close to the end of all this... All we need is that IFF from the Reaper and..."   
  
"You don't think the ship will be safe for Torrax."  
  
Shepard doesn't really mean to look away but, dammit, he's been caught and this really wasn't how he was looking to have this conversation. "I... Yeah...  I've been thinking of options and..."   
  
"Wrex is the best."   
  
"Would you stop doing that!"  
  
Garrus just sighs and moves over to him, placing his hands on his shoulders and gently squeezing.  Slowly the Human sags a little into the touch, his head bowing and his brows furrowing as some of the stress bleeds out of him for now.  It's too much to ask for it to go away forever or for him to relax completely when the lives of everyone on the Normandy depend on him and his choices but, for now, not being alone is enough.  
  
"...I agree.  I'd rather he be alive and we never see him again than have him die during this mission.  I understand." Garrus murmurs, his hands sliding down and back up Shepard's arms in a reassuring motion.  "This whole situation is messed up, Shepard.  All we can do is do the best we can.  Besides, as strange as it sounds, I trust Wrex."   
  
"If you didn't he would have been off the team in a heartbeat.  Besides, despite the ribbing, he wasn't bad for a Krogan." the Turian mused, gently tugging his human lover closer.  
  
Shepard went without resistance, tucking his face against the junction of neck and shoulder armor and sighing, shaking his head.  "Garrus, if we don't make it--"  
  
"Shut up.  We're going to make it, Shepard."   
  
"Dammit, Garrus, would you just--"  
  
"No.  Whatever you want to tell me, you tell me after this is all over, because we're going to live, Shepard."   
  
"You stubborn asshole." Shepard's response is choked as he wraps his arms around the Turian, holding tightly despite the armor digging into tender spots on his anatomy.  
  
They stayed like that for a few long moments while Shepard composed himself, his shoulders relaxing a little, his grip loosening slightly as Garrus' hands stroked over his back and neck.  He was the most relaxed he had been in weeks, honestly, until his omni-tool suddenly chimed and activated.  Heaving a sigh  he pulled away slightly, giving his lover an apologetic look as he brought his arm forward and pressed a few keys.  An image of his room popped up, showing the small bundle in the center of his bed stirring.   
  
"My apologies for disturbing you, Commander.  Torrax has begun to wake up." EDI, surprisingly, did manage to sound apologetic instead of bored.  "Would you like me to send one of the other members of your team?"   
  
Heaving a sigh the human shook his head. "No... He bites.  I'll be right there."  
  
"Have you slept?" Garrus questioned once the connection was cut, not fully relinquishing his hold on his lover.   
  
"I... A few hours here and there... Too much going on."  
  
"Let me take care of Torrax.  You should sleep."   
  
"Garrus--"   
  
"No.  You have enough to worry about.  You need to sleep, Shepard.  You're gonna fall apart."  
  
"I need to be stronger than this..."   
  
"You will be, you just need to sleep."  
  
Heaving a sigh Shepard offered the Turian a weak smile and nodded, bowing his head in defeat.  Honestly he was exhausted from dealing with personal requests from the crew, analyzing data, and Torrax as well, not to mention maintaining the bond between himself and Garrus.  Looking back it seemed that the last time that he rested fully or well was... When he was dead.  That probably wasn't a good thing if he thought about it.  
  
"After we stop the Collectors...  We're gonna disappear for a while.  I don't care what other stupid bullshit is going on in the Galaxy.  Before the Reapers find their way here, which you know they will, we're gonna take time for us." Shepard murmured, looking determined even as he unlocked the door to the Main Battery.   "All the stupid political bullshit can take a damn number."  
  
Garrus chuckled, reaching out to gently grip the back of Shepard's neck, ushering him out of the room and towards the Elevator. "Some remote planet then.  Maybe the fringes of a Colony."   
  
"And space cows."   
  
"...Shepard, did you _really_ just say that?"   
  
"I'm sleep deprived, I can say whatever I want."  
  
They made it to the elevator before Shepard started laughing, almost doubling over, and Garrus joined him.  It was a stupid thing to laugh at, something utterly ridiculous that shouldn't have even been as amusing as it was but, dammit, the laughter felt _good_.  They were still chuckling as they exited the elevator and entered his cabin, both of them smiling at the green eyes peering at them from beneath a pile of blankets.   
  
"He's awake and still on the bed.  Are we sure he's a Krogan?" Shepard mused, smiling as he dug their son out from under the blankets; he was already getting bigger.  "How fast do Krogan grow, anyways?"   
  
"Very... Very fast." Garrus answered as the Krogan was deposited in his arms.   
  
"Kallbrayshuns?" Torrax chirped, looking excited.   
  
"You didn't." Shepard breathed, struggling not to laugh.   
  
"I... Didn't think he'd pick up that word so fast."   
  
"Kallbrayshuns?  No Shep?"    
  
"...Your name is Calibrations."   
  
"Oh for the love of...  I can't win."   
  
Shepard smiled, planting a kiss on Torrax's developing head plate and on Garrus' mouth.  "He'll get it right eventually.  It's better than Garooroo."  
  
"Shut up and go to sleep, Shepard."   
  
"Yes, Sir."


End file.
